A Taste of Uganda

Despite the nearly constant references (ahem complaints) about the food in my posts to date, I still do not feel I have adequately covered the subject.  What can I say…I am a fat kid at heart.

Starchy Staples:  AKA things I never want to eat again

·         Millet – A grainy brown flour commonly served as a thick sludge referred to as “porridge” or in a gelatinous slab.   It is truly pure evil.

Millet Porridge.  My arch nemesis

·         Posho --  White or yellow, it is made of flour mixed with hot water.  That’s it.  It is dry, tasteless and the consistency of a sponge.  They eat it with everything and its ruining my life.

Standard KEFRAMA Lunch - Beans & Posho

·         Cassava -- white, starchy root vegetable that often replaces posho.  It is also tasteless and either served boiled, or once fried.  This is the most tolerable of the local starches, particularly when hot sauce is procured from the locked cabinet.

·         Beans -- the cornerstone of every meal.  Sometimes black but usually kidney and always served in sauce.  Never a fan of them back home they have become my reluctant savior here.

Decepti-cons:  These are foods you think you know, but you have no idea…

·         Fruit:  Lemons are actually melon-sized, green, bumpy things.  Oranges are green, but approximately the same size.  Avacados are larger, smooth and round.  All taste about the same, although the avacados are a bit sweeter.

·         Corn -- Called maize and usually served boiled or grilled -- no butter or salt.  It is incredibly tough; at home we call it cow corn.  This was a huge disappointment to me.

Not pleased...

·         Meat -- usually goat, chicken or sometimes pork.  Sadly, the butchering here is catastrophic so the cuts are usually tough and filled with gristle.  Inexplicably and to my chagrin, they do not serve the white meat of the chicken. They also use all parts of the animal, so chunk selection is crucial. 

Just a man and his chickens....

·         Fish -- served in a variety of stews with the head included.  Be warned: they do not debone their fish and you may choke.

·         Bread --  It is always stale and usually served with a butter clone called “medium fat spread.”  If offered a more delicious looking roll, be even more wary.  These grease-monsters are usually filled with surprise bites of sand.

·         Bananas -- Despite appearances, no two banana dishes are alike.  When possible, opt for the small ones in peels as those are the most consistent bet.  More commonly they are served boiled; some are sweet, some taste like gross applesauce and some are starchy potato-hybrids.  I still can’t tell which is which. It’s banana roulette.

·         Ground nut paste--  This is a paste made of water, onions and ground up g-nuts, which are like peanuts.  Oddly purplish in tint, the paste is actually weirdly sweet.  I have no idea how…  This is commonly served over fish (??)

·         Wheetablix --  Available in a variety of other countries, this was presented to us as our western option for breakfast.  It’s basically gross, dry fiber cereal pressed into square tablets.  Contrary to the laws of science, these immediately become unrecognizably soggy the second it touches milk but have the capacity to turn your mouth into the Sahara Desert if eaten dry.

Notable Highlights: 

·         Cabbage! -- served sautéed in oil with onions and tomatoes, this dish has the power to single-handedly improve any of my worst days here.

·         Chapati -- a thick pita-type bread, usually coated in grease.  These are made on the road side on a large skillet. 

·         Rolex –Chapatti wrapped around fried eggs with peppers, onions and tomatos.  Aka heaven.

·         Rice -- sometimes it is oddly creamy, which makes me think it is occasionally prepared with milk.  At this time, that remains speculation.

·         Eggs –  A scrambled mash prepared with onions, tomatoes, carrots and cabbage.  It rules.  Also come hard boiled, although we have encountered that less frequently.

·         Peas – these are actually more brown than green and are not as pungent in taste.  They come in a sauce of sorts, which I have seen prepared but enjoy immensely.

·         Fruit – pineapple and guava mostly.  The children have been spotted eating mangos and passion fruit, but we are arrived at the tail end of that season.  Susan makes a lot of juice, but I am nervous about the water (even more so after the tea incident) so I have avoided it to date.

·         Tea – Although occasionally served black (be warned!), more commonly we take our tea in the form of a thermos of hot milk.  Occasionally we get our own tea bags, sometimes it is mixed in.  Ugandans drink their tea very light – basically off white -- and with more sugar than should be allowed.  I am talking 3 tablespoons in a tiny tea cup.  And they drink it about 2-4 times a day.

·         Spaghetti – called “macron” and imported from Saudi Arabia.  I think this was purchased specifically for us but it still made my day.