Thursday, 3 October 2013

Viva La Résistance!


As you may have gathered, music is a big part of life here in Cameroon.  When Celestine is gone, the siblings bust out their non-gospel tunes and it becomes straight 2003 up in here.

However, they still rely on CDs played through the computer.  Seeing an opportunity to bridge the language gap and secure my budding friendships, I showed Carole how to rip the CDs into iTunes so she doesn’t have to switch back and forth all the time.

My reward:  James Blunt on repeat.  “You’re beautifulllll….You’re beautiful…” 

I hated this song the first time around and unlike “Pocket Full of Sunshine” in Easy A, constant repetition did not engender any more affectionate feelings in me.

But I did find an ally:  Romeo.  Around the fourth or fifth rotation of this song, Romeo stomped into their bedroom and returned with headphones which he thrust at Carole.  I laughed, which opened the door. 

Now, I have suspected a kindred spirit in Romeo before.  He customarily watches TV on his phone (it has an adorable little antennae which pulls out), and we have passed a few hours watching break dance videos together.  He also once came rushing over to show me a fuzzy image of Barack Obama holding a press conference.  The static was too loud to make out what Obama was saying, but Romeo was clearly proud so I acted enthusiastic.  Romeo is also a football (soccer) fan, and Celestine has made him promise to take me to an upcoming home game. And he is the only one in the house who drinks.  In short, he is my BFF who I can’t say more than five words to.  Together we would form an alliance – viva la resistance!

I had a plan.  I would offer to load my music onto Carole’s computer. I figured this would not only decrease the probability of James Blunt, but also give Romeo a stake in the game.  If he had access to music he liked, perhaps he could lobby for me in language and cultural absentia.

However, a lot of my music is hip hop and laden with that constant-deficient word which straddles the racist line.  Having made that mistake in Uganda, I couldn’t give Carole free reign.  So I set about the onerous process of wedding out any inappropriate music while still trying to find things they would like – after all, the motivation behind this was still a desperate ploy for acceptance.

Thumb drive loaded, I put my plan into action through a series of gestures.  Then I bided my time waiting for Celestine to leave and the party to get hopping.  But alas – Romeo did not come home!  Fortunately not all was lost; we spent the next two hours listening to Beyonce and throwback Destiny’s Child. (surprisingly, Britney was not a hit with this crowd)

But then something happened that may have put an end to this coalition before it even started.  I went out to use the pit toilet before bed with my awesomely attractive headlamp strapped on.  As usual, I entered with urgency in an attempt to get this over as quickly as possible but as I lunged past the dividing curtain I collided with something.  That something turned out to be Romeo…squatting.  That’s right friends.  I kicked my new ally in the shins while he was taking a poop.  To make matters worse, the headlamp clearly illuminated (and blinded) him for the full duration of time it took my confused brain to process what the hell happened and formulate an escape plan (obviously, I mumbled horrified apologies, ran back to my room and didn’t emerge until after he was gone the next morning.  There was no other reasonable course of action.)

Viva la resistance?

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